day six of my week long fast

Isaiah 53:1-6 NLT

        Who has believed our message
           and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
        He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
           and like a root out of dry ground.
        He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
           nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
        He was despised and rejected by men,
           a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
        Like one from whom men hide their faces
           he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
        Surely he took up our infirmities
           and carried our sorrows,
        yet we considered him stricken by God,
           smitten by him, and afflicted.
        But he was pierced for our transgressions,
           he was crushed for our iniquities;
        the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
           and by his wounds we are healed.
        We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
           each of us has turned to his own way;
        and the LORD has laid on him
           the iniquity of us all.

It is day six of my week long fast looking toward Resurrection Sunday. I have come to the point that I am no longer hungry now. Food looks good, but I don’t feel the driving need.

The quesadillas I made Ella last night were awfully good looking, more than any of the other stuff on her plate. But I am the master, not food.

That is a battle I have fought all my life. I always were amazed at people who forgot to eat. How can you forget to eat? I hardly ever forgot to eat. But I found that after this last fast, a couple of days, I just forgot to eat. Surprised the fire out of me.

Maybe I am getting there. I would like to have God have control over my body, not food. Maybe it is coming. A few hundred more fasts and maybe it will be here. Or dead, one or the other.

I love the church of Jesus Christ. I always have. I have not always liked it, but I have always loved it. You can love something without necessarily liking it.

I knew a boy and girl when I was young who loved each other dearly, but were always in arguments. They really didn’t like each other. I have found out in later years how that can be possible, but at the time, it baffled me. How can you love someone without liking them?

But I am sure Jesus wasn’t exactly liking all these jeering people standing around the cross as he died. I am sure that his affection didn’t brim over for the apostles as he heard them deny they knew him. Pity maybe, but not liking.

And I have found in my life that it is often hard to like someone you feel pity for. Pity is too strong. And it is hard to like someone who is doing things to hurt you.

Love them, yes. I gave my life to the church because I loved the church. But I have had to recognize that it did not always love me back. That didn’t stop my own love, but it sure put a damper on my liking.

In fact, some of the people I love, I can barely stand to be in the same room with.

But, of course, that is human nature.

My mother-in-law used to say of some people, I love you but I hate your low-down ways. I guess that sums up things well. It sure sums up how God feels: love the sinner and hate the sin.

Father God, I ask you for strength to love your church more, to see your church as you see it. Let me be like Jesus. I praise you. Amen.