day three of my fast

Isaiah 53:1-6 NLT

        Who has believed our message
           and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
        He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
           and like a root out of dry ground.
        He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
           nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
        He was despised and rejected by men,
           a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
        Like one from whom men hide their faces
           he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
        Surely he took up our infirmities
           and carried our sorrows,
        yet we considered him stricken by God,
           smitten by him, and afflicted.
        But he was pierced for our transgressions,
           he was crushed for our iniquities;
        the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
           and by his wounds we are healed.
        We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
           each of us has turned to his own way;
        and the LORD has laid on him
           the iniquity of us all.

It is day three of my fast. I have not been able to sleep well tonight for some reason.

At four o’clock I woke up. Shortly thereafter it began to hail. It was a pretty bad one. I do hope the roofs are not totaled again. I also feel sorry for the people next door with their brand new SUV. It is a nice one and they haven’t had it but a month or so. I hope it is not hurt too badly.

As is usual at this time of my fast, I am craving food. Unfortunately, I made up a big batch of one of my favorite foods – pimiento cheese – just the last part of last week. So it is calling.

I am also possessed with a deep sense of failure right now. That also is not uncommon at the beginning of a fast.

I am in this fast to partake of the last week of suffering with Jesus in what way I can. But I am also in this fast to find out what God wants of me. Where does he want me to go? I need to hear from him. I need to know what he wants of me.

Father God, I ask you for direction. I thank you for Jesus who gave me life and who gave me my ministry. Save me, Lord. I praise you. Amen.