end of day five

The end of day five

On the twenty-fourth day of the same month, the Israelites gathered together, fasting and wearing sackcloth and having dust on their heads. (Nehemiah 9:1)

No sackcloth nor dust and I do not intend to go 24 days.

Today was the cramping day. I hope I am soon through with that. Every muscle in my body wants to cramp, from my stomach to my side to the triceps to the biceps to my legs. It is truly annoying.

As your body adjusts to the fast, you make certain physical adjustments that are not always pleasant. I suppose that my supply of potassium and such is fine when I eat. Now my body isn’t getting that. I drink Gatorade to help it, but it doesn’t seem to. Probably my age has something to do with it.

A friend asked me today if it was right to fast. She was worried that I was hurting my body. She was also bothered a bit by the fact that I still cook and prepare meals. I tried to explain to her that cooking and feeding people is my ministry. I like it, even though I do not get to eat.

I find I can fast easier than I can do without certain foods. I am not sure why, but it is easier to deny myself totally than just a little. Cooking some of my favorite foods today was hard, but it is possible. I cooked fried chicken with gravy for supper and taco meat and peppers and onions for tomorrow.

Tomorrow we plan to have our friends from North Platte that are visiting for the weekend and four others. For lunch there will be spaghetti (left over from the other night – quite a lot of it) and tacos.

I notice that I cook too much. I suppose that I eat a lot more than I thought. There is an awful lot of stuff left over.

Today the prayer was for strength in leadership. Leadership is the hardest thing I have ever done. The combination of teaching and motivation is hard.

I don’t think I am a natural leader. I am a teacher. I used to be a leader. Not sure when it stopped. There was a day when people would almost get in fistfights over me. Not with me, but over me. One would like what I said and another wouldn’t.

One Halloween thirty years ago, we had a party. I told people to come as whatever they wanted, and if they couldn’t think of anything else, they could come as me. Three people came as me. One was an older version, one was a weird version and one was a clown version. It almost blew me away.

But it stopped, just as other things I had done stopped. My singing stopped, as did my puppet ministry, as did my healing touch. Not sure why any of them did, but I guess there are seasons in a man’s life.

I believe God has something better for me and for this church. It hurts to see such a small group on Sundays and I know it cannot be God’s will.

Father God, I ask you for strength in you ministers, in your pastors, in your leaders. Give them strength, knowledge and an extra measure of your Spirit. Grant them grace and power. I thank you for this time of fasting and in advance for the things you will show me. I praise you. Amen.