end of day sixteen

End of day sixteen
It has been a good day all in all. We had a great class tonight. I like Wednesday night classes. They have the people who truly want to learn more abut the word. If things go right, the discussion can be rather lively.

As I mentioned before, a couple of answers today on something, I am not sure what they mean yet.

One was the passage from 1 Chronicles 4 with the prayer of Jabez. I have never believed that had the absolute power so many wanted it to have. They wanted to pray the prayer and it be the absolute way to get God’s attention. God hears and says, Oh, those are the words I wanted to hear. The problem is, there is no prayer or saying or phrase or mantra that does that. It is our hearts God hears, not our phrasing.

The other was a relative I haven’t seen in years that I am a friend with on Facebook. Out of the clear blue sky, in responding to a wry comment I made to an old friend, he gave me an authentication and verification of my mission and my life in such a way that I have never received before. Ever.

It was almost staggering at the depth of the comment he made telling me that I was a godly man.

So often I feel like an imposter. If people knew me they would not like me. That kind of thing. Ella is always after me on that account. She tells me that I am valuable and worthwhile, talented and good. I feel like a poseur, one who pretends.

I think that is fairly common in people serving God.

I read a novel one time by Robert Heinlein, part of which dealt with a man going to heaven. He is riding around on a streetcar when all of a sudden the people around him realize he is a saint and they become afraid of him. He approaches one of the angels and complains about it, saying I don’t want to be a saint. The angel says, in essence, well too bad. You are anyway. And we never let people who want to be saints be saints.

That is true with leaders. I would never allow a person to be an elder or council member who campaigned for the work. I have always felt that people drafted into service do a better job because they come into a time of need. They are not there for the glory, they are there for the service.

Two things today. Five days to go.

Then I can have that slice of toasted and buttered sourdough bread. But I want to hear God more. To hear him clearly, I would never eat buttered bread again.

Father God, I ask you for power to America in bringing you and your grace back to center stage in our country. Bless us so that we may bless you. Thank you for the words today. Give me more. Give me authentication in what I need to do. Give me courage and power. Give me and Ella the things we need, and make our church grow. I praise you. Amen.