end of day twenty

End of day twenty

I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip — he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you — the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. (Psalm 121)

One more day. And today I am hungry. Really hungry. I feel the gnawing of needing something to eat. It is an irritating feeling, but after all, I am human. It is not natural to not eat. Eating is one of the basic needs, so when  you deny it, it shouldn’t be surprising that you are hungry.

I suppose that when Jesus fasted in the desert, he wasn’t hungry. The knowledge of the mission that God gave him when he was baptized and the Holy Spirit came on him like a dove probably drove all thought of food from his mind.

It was possibly a combination of amazement, shock, possibly some horror mixed in. He did come to die, not to get married and have kids and live a good life, joining the Rotary Club and all.

He probably knew all his life that he was different, that he had some purpose. And because of that he put off life like normal people. I really liked the mini-series Jesus with Jeremy Sisko when he finally told Mary, Martha’s sister, who was in love with him in the movie that he hoped she could be happy, but that it would be without him. That was something you could see happening.

For forty days, he sat and thought and planned and figured and waited and prayed. I also think that it was only when he came to grips with his destiny, his job as it were, his Messiahship, that he got hungry again.

Then, of course, he was really hungry and was vulnerable to the devil. Or at least the devil thought he would be. But he had that special power that comes from realizing what it is that God wants.

To a certain extent, not exactly like him of course, we gain that power too when we accept God’s will in our lives. Until then, we are “kicking against the pricks” as Jesus said in the old King James to the apostle Paul on the road to Damascus.

Even though Jesus died, he knew he was in God’s will. Even though Paul died, he knew he was in God’s will. It was the same with Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego in the book of Daniel. They told the king that they would not worship his idol, that their God would deliver them. And even if he didn’t, they still would not betray him to worship the king’s idol.

That is power. And Jesus had it in spades. Of course, he was a little different, but if he had special power, super power, he was not like us. If it was no trouble for him to be perfect, then he was not like us and the whole thing was a sham.

I feel that power. And I think in many ways it is that power that carries me and has carried me through this fast. As I said, it is not normal to not eat. It takes a special power to do that.

God the Father is my strength. My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. And he will always be my power.

Father God, I ask you for more power in my sorry life, that I can overcome my obstacles and my sins to worship and praise and serve you more. I know that I am unworthy and that you love me in spite of myself and I praise your holy name. Thank you for the cross, thank you for your grace, thank you for you. I praise you. Amen